Dysthymia

To me life for a decade 

Was a clouded sky that refused to clear;

A boring day that wasn’t too bad

And never too great 

It was to me

A replay of greys matted together,

Mushy.

My emotions forgot to register my thoughts on whether it was fine & dandy or not,

And I am sure the protective smokescreen kept out the sadness. 

I was a living stone, waiting to be a stone with moss. 

And then,

Slowly, like the ending of a dull winter,

Once again I loved the way acorns bounce when they land. The noisy squirrel who stole a whole tree away one by one was a joyful sight.

How the rugged bluffs are beautiful simply by existing-

How my eyes drink it in around the corner leading home. 

It seemed like the topography sang out. Calling to me, anyone inside?

Can you remember that it always was so? You who always loved the big broadleaves and the shagbark and the little bugs?

And you who always made the stereo sing and the floor hold dancing? 

So now 

I can breathe the air around me,

A sleeping child of the earth,

I have reawakened some living version of myself.

Everything is sacred again

Everything is art

I can see it and hear it again

Everything matters. 

It is a dangerous place to stand

Feeling my life come back into me.

Powerful. 

Now,

Now,

Is the time to be happy, angry, joyous or determined 

Embody it all and do not hide;

Now is a better self to cherish.

Now is the time. 

Goodbye, dysthymia and drudgery. 

Time to be alive.